john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
