If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
