I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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