Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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