I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
