i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
