first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
