I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
