oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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