I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
