tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
