I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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