well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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