Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
