I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
