he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
