good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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