Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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