they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize