i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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