He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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