Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
