$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
