My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
