my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
