Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
