suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
