I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
