I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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