my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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