That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
