Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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