You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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