when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
