Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
