she smelled like a LAN party
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
