I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
