We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
