omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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