it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
