Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
