Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
