ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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