There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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