The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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