dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
