so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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