I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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