did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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