hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
